“For I, the LORD, do not change…”
Malachi 3:6
Seasons. We hear a lot about them. The Church has seasons, the earth has seasons, sports and camps and theatres have seasons. People have them, too. And I’ve always believed them to be a period of time where something is changing and moving forward, sometimes anticipating and preparing for what is to come. Sometimes we know the outcome, and sometimes we don’t. In our own lives, I believe a season is where someone is changing and growing, experiencing and witnessing valuable lessons and challenges in order to become the man or woman God is calling us to be. We go through so many beautiful seasons—joy, sorrow, confusion, darkness, clarity, growth, discovery—among countless others. The most well-known passage from sacred scripture is taken from the book of Ecclesiastes (you can find the passage here). In this scripture, we can see this dichotomy of both seemingly good and seemingly not-so-good “times” for everything. This passage is one I’ll come back to in other posts.
I think it’s appropriate that this is my first blog post, for quite a few reasons. The first being that this blog, in and of itself, is the start of a new season for me: one of figuring out who I am, starting to write again, and learning to fall deeper in love with the Lord through it all. The second is that the first retreat I ran as a young professional at my job this past year had the theme “seasons” with this passage from Ecclesiastes. Lots of firsts in my life this year have to do with seasons, and I plan on writing more about them.
I picked that retreat theme because it just made sense. I was taking over as a Youth Ministry Director after the beautiful woman who ran it for over 10 years left… change.
I was working with amazing high school students who had to get used to me, my ways of doing things, and the new rules that were set in place by myself, my bosses, and my diocese… change.
Life was running at 10 miles an hour, as well. I couldn’t seem to catch up. This time in my life was throwing me into the real world (whatever that is). New job, newly single, new graduate, newly licensed driver, new faces, new mission. Newness… change. All at once. They were great changes, but all of this happened in the span of about 3 weeks. I was entering a season of deep uncertainty, and as confident as I was in the path God had planned for me, there was something I was missing.
No one understood what I was going through. I mean, they did. They’d smile and say that it’s because I was young that all of this was stressful. Sure, it’s true in part. I had a lot of life to live. But I was mature. I’ve been under pressure. I was organized and passionate. And for as much as I didn’t know what I was doing, I knew exactly what I was doing. This season wasn’t difficult because I hadn’t experienced it before, or because I hadn’t experienced similar all at once. This new season of life was rough because I wrongly felt that I had to it alone.
I was missing God.
For as much as He was present in the work I was doing, He wasn’t present in the life I was living. I excluded Him from this season. I’d talk, but not let Him answer. And when He did answer, I ignored Him. It wasn’t intentional; it was simply this subconscious fear of offering up control and trusting Him, in uncharted territory, with no map and no certain destination. In this new season, I was painfully lost, and not letting Him take my hand and lead me.
God is eternally present in the seasons, for He is their author. I just didn’t want to look for Him in this one, when everything was changing and my future was uncertain, even though I fully acknowledged that He brought me here, to work in a church, as a youth minister… who brings Jesus to people. I was a hypocrite. I told people to trust Him when I couldn’t do it myself.
One of the main points from my retreat talk in January this year was:
We have one constant, one thing that will never leave us or change: Our God and His eternal, undying, never-failing, pure, true, endless, powerful, reckless, unconditional love.
In every season, He’s there. Change of seasons is constant, but so is He. When I change, don’t hold up my end of the deal, are luke-warm in faith, He remains faithful to His covenant with us. His love and mercy don’t change.
He’s the constant God.
In my season of uncertainty, I recognized that I simply had to offer it up. “Let go, Let God” they say.
So I did.
Kind of.
I’m still trying. And because He’s constant, unchanging, unfailing, and eternal, He’s with me every step of the way, even when I push Him aside. It’s kind of crazy, that the God who never changes is changing us through these seasons. But we’ll save that post for another day.
I might feel lonely, but I’m never alone. I don’t always know what is to come, but God has my best interest at heart.
After all, I’m built for Heaven.
In every moment of my life, regardless of the season or my “relationship status” with God, He’s my constant. He’s reliable; He’s real; He’s good. And when I want to run away, He chases me with open arms, waiting for me to turn and run back to Him. God is constant.
In every season, He is still God. Constantly.
I can’t say it enough.
If the world doesn’t understand your season, you have a God who does.
If you don’t understand your season, you have a God who does.
You have a God who created the seasons, and seeks you in them all.
Will you let Him love you through them?
